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Asian Weddings:

Hindu Wedding

Most Hindu marriage celebrations are a colourful occasion and start by taking place in the temple and the bride’s home both which are decorated specially for the event. The groom dressed in traditional Indian Kurta (white trousers and a tunic) and wearing a ceremonial turban, arrives with his relatives at the bride’s or most commonly now at the wedding venue. Once the marriage procession, called the Baarat, reaches its destination, the bride’s mother applies tikka on the groom’s forehead as a blessing to welcome her son-in-law.

The Baarat is ceremoniously welcomed by the bride’s party and the groom is led to the marriage room where the father of the bride offers him gifts. After this welcome, the bride enters the room and sits facing her husband to be under a decorated canopy, called a Mandap. In some ceremonies, both are veiled until they are married. The bride and groom exchange garlands made of fresh flowers, symbolic of the exchange of their hearts, minds and souls. This is called the varmala ceremony and is a significant event in a Hindu marriage.

The marriage ceremony is performed by a Hindu priest starting with the emphasis on the importance of marriage. The priest ties the couples’ right hands together with cord and sprinkles holy water over them. At this point, the bride’s father hands over his daughter to the groom in Kanyadanam.

The most important part of the ceremony is the Seven Steps or Pheras, a ritual in which the couple circle the sacred fire. The bride’s veil is knotted to a part of the groom’s attire and they walk around the nuptial fire in a clockwise direction. The couple or “Saptapadi” either take seven steps around the fire or walk around it four or seven times. The seven steps denote food, strength, wealth, fortune, children, happy seasons and friendships. The marriage is complete and irrevocable after the taking of the seventh step. In some variations of the ceremony, the groom presents his new wife with a new sari and she changes to symbolise her new status in her new family.

In Hindu Gujarati weddings there are only four Pheras (steps around the sacred fire) taken by the couple called the Mangalpheras. The couple recites the Sapta Padi or the seven vows for married life while the groom assists her to touch seven betel nuts with her right toes. Once all the rituals have been performed, the couple takes blessings from the elders by touching their feet.

The newly-weds then feed each other with sweet food, which is first offered to the household God. The ceremony ends with prayers and readings, and the wedding party retires to another room where feasting and celebrations get under way. This can last for several days, with hundreds of relatives and friends visiting the house to offer their gifts and congratulations.

The Vidai ceremony takes place when the bride leaves her parents house and bids farewell to her family, marking the move from her own family to that of her husband.
The Jewish wedding is specialised and closely allied to the Jewish faith; therefore the Toastmaster must be fully acquainted. He is officiating at a ceremony that is charged with emotion, and his manner must reflect the occasion. It is therefore important that we understand the ceremony: what happens, the meaning of the words, the sensitivity, the feelings of those involved, and, importantly, to understand the history behind the faith.

Muslim Wedding

On the day of the wedding ceremony, the bridegroom dressed like a sultan in a turban with a floral veil (sehra) tied on the forehead leads the marriage procession to the bride’s house. The groom stops at the mosque to offer prayers and seek the blessing of Allah. The groom is attended throughout the wedding by a serbala, the youngest boy in the family, usually a sister’s son. The family gifts money as salami to the groom for good luck. He and the serbala are then fed laddu, a sweet food made from chickpeas, sugar and butter, immediately before departing for the marriage ceremony.

The nikah or marriage service usually takes place at the bride’s home. The groom and serbala are garlanded on their entry at the bride’s home. The bride’s brother offers the groom hot sweetened milk, or sherbet, as a gesture of a sweet start to his married life. The Qazi or law officer conducts marriage, by reading from the Koran. Two men are appointed as witnesses on the groom’s behalf to

receive orders for the nikah from the bride’s family. The elders of the two families negotiate the amount of mehar (compulsory amount of money given to the bride’s family by the groom’s family). The bride and groom sit separately during their marriage, possibly on opposite sides of the room. The bride’s father and two witnesses ask the bride if she agrees to the marriage, after which the Qazi asks the groom if he has agreed. After both agree, the Qazi completes the nikahnama, the Muslim marriage certificate.

After the civil and religious ceremonies, a reception follows at the bride’s parent’s house. The groom’s family to honour and welcome the new bride throws another reception. This feast is called the Dawat-e-walima.

Sikh Wedding

Sikhs have many customs in common with both the Hindu and Muslim religions, which include the marriage ceremony. The ceremony usually takes place in the Gurdwara, the Sikh place of worship, or at the bride’s home. The Guru Granth Sahib (holy book) must be present regardless of the place where the marriage ceremony is conducted.

The morning of the wedding day is marked by the gharoli ceremony at the groom’s house. The groom’s sister-in-law, accompanied by other female relatives, goes to a nearby well or Gurdwara to fill an earthen pitcher or gharoli with water, which is later, used to bathe the bridegroom. Thereafter, khare charna is performed wherein the groom is made to sit on a stool for his bath, and four girls hold a cloth over his head. Following his bath, the groom puts on new clothes. The groom drapes a coloured chunni, usually pink, red or orange around his neck and usually carries a sword by his side. Sehrabandi, putting of the floral veil and the kalgi on the groom’s forehead by the maternal uncle and applying of kajal (black kohl) in the eyes by his sister-in-law is done before the Baarat, the wedding procession leaves for the ceremony.

A similar bathing ritual is performed at the bride’s house following which her maternal uncle takes her for choora ceremony. She wears a set of red and white ivory (since it is now banned, bone or plastic are alternatives) bangles that have been dipped in kachchi lassi or buttermilk. Kaleeren, ornaments with dangling golden metal plates, are tied to the bride’s wrist by her close female relatives.

On reaching the bride’s house, the milni (meeting) ceremony is held with the senior members of both families embracing and exchanging gifts with each other. Shabbats (hymns) are sung and aardas (prayer) recited as the wedding procession enters the Gurdwara or the place where the wedding is arranged to take place.

A granthi or the holy man is usually in charge of the marriage ceremony. The ceremony begins with an explanation of the importance of marriage. The couple then shows they agree to be married by bowing to the Guru Granth Sahib. Then the bride’s father ties the bride’s chunni to the groom’s scarf to symbolise her departure from the bride’s family to join the groom’s family. A marriage hymn of four verses, the ‘Lavan’, written by the Sikh teacher Guru Ram Das, is then sung. To symbolise their support, the relatives help the bridal couple to walk around the Guru Granth Sahib after each verse of the hymn has been sung. The couple is declared married at the completion of the fourth round. Throughout the ceremony, hymns are sung and prayers are said for the future happiness of the newly-weds. The hidaayat or niyams - their duties and responsibilities towards each other as man and wife, and also towards their elders - are now recited to the couple.

Final prayers are then said and sweets, Karah Parshad, made from flour and sugar, are distributed to the people present to seek God’s blessings for the new couple. Relatives and friends ‘garland’ the newly- wedded couple, and present them with gifts. A meal follows, either at the Gurdwara if the ceremony has taken place there, or at the bride’s house.
Later the bride changes into new clothes that are presented to her by the groom’s family. As she parts from her house, she throws back grains of rice, thereby wishing prosperity to the family she has left behind.